I ought to explain a thing or two before I tell you this story. You see, Ben Tolliver was gettin' pretty long in the tooth when he found religion. But he never did anything half-way, so he plunged into Christianity with all the energy that he had cowboyed with the first forty years of his life.

He was converted by another cowboy preacher who only had the barest of education. But whatever education that man had it made him sound like scholar and a gentleman, at least compared to poor Ben. You see, Ben didn't know the difference between and a seminary and a cemetery. He just figured as how those big words in the Bible that he couldn't read must not really be that important or God would have made 'em simpler.

Fact is, he couldn't read too many of the smaller words, either. So much of his preaching was mostly adlibing of the major Bible stories that most everyone of that period knew by heart.

That's how it was that on one fine Sunday morning in 1972 when ol' Ben stepped into the pulpit of the Cottonwood Creek Church and began to tell the congregation of twenty-seven ranching souls about David's battle with Goliath.

"Brothers and Sisterns, I'm here to shuck the corn and show the cob. I stand before you as God's messenger, with nary a ax to grind or nothin' but the Gospel to defend.

"Today I aim to tell y'all about how young David done beat the living daylights out of a gent named Goliath. It all started when them sin-loving Philistines sent out a passel of men to hoorah the Israelites. They loaded up their gear and marched clean across the countryside. They finally come to a big valley, so they parked their chuckwagon smackdab in the middle of the north slope of that valley and them Philistine soldiers spread all over that hill.

"Now, an outrider for the Israelite army saw them varmints and high-tailed it back to King Saul. He said, "King Saul, them Philistines has got the north side of the valley covered like a nest of ants. And there's one yahoo amongst them who is tall as a sycamore tree."

"Well, sir, ol' King Saul wasn't about to let them Philistines set up camp on his range land. So he rounded up his own crew of fightin' men and they commenced to march thataway. They parked their chuckwagon on the south slope of that valley, and they were justa itchin' to show them other fellers what for.

"Now, ol' King Saul wasn't as eager as he let on to tangle with them ol' boys. Fact is, he was sorta hopin' they'd just get the idea that this was gonna be one tough nut to crack and would saddle up and ride off into the sunset. That didn't happen, and the two groups of men pouted and fumed until ever once in a while some of 'em would wander down to the middle of the valley and knock each other silly. This here fight just wasn't goin' nowhere.

"And what added a heap of insult to the situation was that the Israelites had to put up with that big-mouthed Philistine, Goliath, who kept on challenging them to send somebody out to fight him.

"Brothers and Sisterns, lookin' at this from a humanly point of view, the cowpoke who should have just saddled right up and rode over and put that giant's lights out was really King Saul his own self. You remember, don't y'all, that the Bible says that King Saul stood "head and shoulders above all the other men of Israel." Shucks, the Devil had a giant over yonder in the Philistine camp, but the Lord Almighty had a shore-nuff giant of his own in ol' King Saul. Problem was that Saul had himself a giant yellow-streak right down his back, so him and his army just sat there twiddlin' their thumbs whilst that ol' boy Goliath ranked 'em over the coals.

"Y'all sit up and pay attention, now, 'cause right here's where the Lord switched from Plan A to Plan B. Way back up in the hills, many a mile away from that Mexican standoff, there was a baby-faced young feller herdin' some woolies for his pa. He was just sittin' there in the shade of a Mesquite tree, strumming "Home on the Range" on his guitar, and watchin' them sheep millin' around.

"All of a sudden, though, he heard his pa yellin' for him to come to the house. So he lit a shuck in that direction. And when he got to the house, his daddy--a gent named Jesse, but of no relation to Jesse James that I know of--told him to saddle up and take a pack-horse loaded with vittles and changes of underwear for his brothers, down yonder at the Israelite camp.

"David skeedaddled quick as a flea. He put the spurs to his Mustang pony and the quirt to that pack mule, and arrived at that camp in might near nothin' flat. He begun to look for his brothers, but he couldn't help notice that these army folks was just sittin' around pickin' their teeth with their knives or matching coins with one another.

"David finally walked up to an officer who had medals hangin' from his chest clear down to his chaps. And he said, "Mister, I been to a goat ropin' and to a county fair and to two other battles, but I ain't never seen nothin' like this before. I've seen more blood shed at fist-fights behind the church building than what I see here."

"That Israelite army officer patted little David on the head and said, 'Listen here, babyface, the reason you don't see no major brawl is because there ain't a man here dumb enough to walk down into the valley and tangle with that fearsome fellah, Goliath, over yonder. That big one that stands out like a sore thumb."

"Well, brothers and sisterns, David was not impressed. He moseyed on over to were King Saul was playing a game of checkers with his head general. And he walked right up to him, looked way up at that big galoot and said: 'Reckon I'll take down that Philistine feller, if'n ain't nobody else gonna. "Shoot-fire, that ol' Goliath may strike some of y'all as bein' tall timber but he ain't nothin' but jimsonweed to me. Let me at 'im and me and the Lord will teach him whatfir.'

"King Saul spat a mouthful of tobacco on the ground and said, 'Kid, I think your mamma done raised at least one more fool than you think she did. But if you got a powerful hankerin' to get them dandy dimples of yours splattered all over your babyface, then have I'll have my men get you some armor.'

Sure 'nuff, ol' Saul he directed his outfitters to give Davy boy the best armor around. He said to the chief outfitter, "Listen, here, you humor this nutty kid and deck him out real fine. Make him look like a soldier, even if he ain't. You better also put a toe tag on him, 'cause we all know he ain't coming back alive."

That outfitter put that armor on little David, and it plumb covered him like a metal tent. He couldn't walk three steps without fallin' flat on his face. So he shucked that armor and decided to just go the way he'd come, wearin' his Wrangler jeans and Acme boots and Panhandle Slim shirt and his Stetson hat. 'If'n it was good enough for Moses, it's good enough for me," he said.

"The sun was might near overhead when Davy walked down into that valley, with every eyeball in every socket on both sides of the valley watchin' his every step. A Philistine soldier woke up ol' Goliath from his mid-day siesta and say, 'Pard, just take a gander at that kid down in the valley. He's down there playing with some pebbles. And in his squeaky little voice he's been saying, 'The bigger they are, the harder they fall. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.' Reckon what he means?'

"Goliath wasn't no Albert Winestein, but he wasn't dumb as dirt, either. He knew that kid down at the creek was pumped up and out to get him. And he had a darned good laugh about it. That is, until Davy stepped on his side of the creek and yelled, 'Your rump is mine, Goliath! You ain't so big, just tall--that's all. And God and me are gonna nail your hide to the barn door. Ready or not, here I come."

"Goliath and them Philistine varmints liked to have laughed until they had hernias. The kid didn't have a spear or a bow or even a knife. What was he going to do, arm wrestle best two out of three times?

"Thing was, though, that little David just kept walkin' in the Big Guy's direction. Straight as an arrow. No smile on his face. No hesitation in his steps. And when he got within a hundred yards or so, they stopped laughing. The kid was serious.

"Goliath wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes and said to his aide, I guess you better give me my sword and I'll swat this little mosquito. Or maybe I'll just knock him over with my breath. This is sure 'nuff a sorry lookin' soldier for them Israelites to send over. Must be draftin' babies into their army.'

"Well, sir, that giant's sword stood about 16 hands high. And he knew how to swing that meat cleaver in a most artistic way. But he never got it out of his holster. Young Davy just up and loaded his single-shot sling with one of them pebbles and slung it with all his might.

"Now, brothers and sisterns, the fact is that David was not that good a shot with that sling-shot. But on this very day the Lord himself was ridin' shotgun for him and directed that little pebble to sail like a comet and bean that Goliath right between his ugly eyes. He dropped like he'd been clobbered upside the head with an ax handle. Knocked him colder'n a block of ice. And while his lights was out, Davy picked up that big sword and lobbed Goliath's head off. And the Philistines, seeing their leader killed by a punk kid, put their tails between their legs and ran the other direction."

"Congregation, as I see it, this little David's victory over the giant Goliath contains some points the good Lord wants us to remember. First of all, it ain't a real smart idea to shout insults at God's people. And that goes for people inside the church as well as outside of it. Second, those who lead God's people better get on with the battle against the Devil. Or move outta the way, 'cause God can raise up a leader out of the most unlikely prospects. And third, it ain't really the size of the dog in the fight that counts; it is the size of the fight in the dog.

"Amen and amen."

_____________________________________________End.